ACTION!!!!

Austin update!

2007-11-01T23:53:00.000-06:00

Here is a short clip of austin showing off his skills!!!

Cheers,
Craig

The OFFICE is awesome!!!

2007-10-27T17:10:00.000-06:00

Hey everyone, Austin pics are coming soon. Life has been crazy lately. Jane and Pam ROCK!

Cheers,
Craig

Priceless!

2007-10-18T21:54:00.000-06:00

Cheers,
Craig

Austin Huntin Jeff the Lion!!!

2007-06-12T23:45:00.000-06:00

Austin hunts Jeff all the time!!

Cheers,
Craig

I got Austin!!!!

2007-06-01T16:27:00.001-06:00

Well his first night wasn't bad at all. He only woke me up once wich was a surprise! He sleeps like a champ after we play like crazy of course.. LOL.. But the poor guy did get the runs. And today he hurled for some reason, I think he just misses the pack.. Besides that he is kicking ass!!

Cheers,
Craig

Austin 1 month old!!!

2007-05-14T01:50:00.000-06:00

Cheers,
Craig

O lny srmat poelpe can raed tihs.

2007-05-04T20:57:00.000-06:00

cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The
phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy,

it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm.

Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh? yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt!

Cheers,
Craig

UT Tower!!!

2007-04-26T19:17:00.000-06:00

Well During my recent adventure with Goose, we ended up traveling 30 stories straight up to the observatory deck of the UT Tower... I found out Goose has a crazy birds eye, because she was spotting shit everywhere!!! No not the bird shit!!! lol...

Man was this a cool sight... We got to hear a bit of history about the tower plus checked out the sweet disco lights that make it orange... LOL..
The clock was pretty cool too... They said that there is a guy that is 80 something years old that plays the bells at the top of the tower, and this guy takes song requests and will learn to play anything from Metallica to Snoop Dogg...

Cheers,
Craig

Hunting Lions!!!

2007-04-15T17:26:00.000-06:00

Be very very quiet they are hunting lions!!!

Cheers,
Craig

Austin Pics...

2007-04-12T22:48:00.000-06:00

Here are some pics of his mom and siblings... I get to see him for the first time Saturday morning!!! I'm stoked!!!

Cheers,
Craig

I'm getting a puppy!!!

2007-04-09T22:31:00.000-06:00

He's a Rhodesian Ridgeback, and his name will be Austin. He was born in a ridiculously huge litter of 15 pups on April the 4th... Ridgebacks are also known as African Lion Hounds (because of their ability to hunt down a lion and keep it at bay while awaiting their master to make the kill.) Click here to read more about them. I'll get him sometime around June 4th.. Stay tuned for more updates!!!

Cheers,
Craig

Stew eating Chia Homer grass stuff...

2007-03-16T02:23:00.000-06:00

Well things have been so dull lately that I started growing a Chia Head (Homer) to kinda throw some spice back into life.. LOL. And this is the kind of crazy shit that happens!

Cheers,
CT

Big AL'S Ski Bike adventure!!!!!

2007-01-31T01:02:00.000-07:00

Yeah Some people just can't handle a snowboard... LOL.. Durango was bad ass though... Fast snow, fast food, and fast women, what else could a man ask for?!!!!

Cheers,
Craig

deep snow!!!!

2007-01-22T02:00:00.000-07:00

Sometimes you just have to drive in the deep snow!!! lol

Cheers,
Craig

I ditched work today!!!!

2007-01-11T20:10:00.000-07:00

Cheers,
CT

my roof sucks ass!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2007-01-03T12:32:00.000-07:00

Well I was excited about the snow until my roof got 8 leaks in it... So all day today guess what i'm doing? yep you got it!!! Digging out all of the snow off my fucking roof!!! AAAAHHH.. The leak in the living room was so bad, Phil had to McGyver a contraption so the water will flow down a wire to a bucket!!! It's like I have a swimming pool on my roof... If I could give anyone advice for the new year it would be to NEVER buy a house with a flat roof!!!!

I hope your day is better than mine!!!
Craig

Happy New Year!!!!!

2007-01-02T01:44:00.000-07:00

Crazy shit always happens on new years!!! Twizzler anyone?

Cheers,
Craig

Hey girl I got ya something!!!

2006-12-25T21:18:00.000-07:00

Gonna give ya somethin so you know what's on my mind...

Happy holidays
CT

HO HO HO!!!

2006-12-24T13:40:00.000-07:00

Good ol Dan!! thanks for the idea bro!!!

From me ("the wishor") to you ("the wishee"), please accept without obligation, implied or implicit, my best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, politically correct, low stress, non-addictive, gender neutral, celebration of the winter solstice holiday, practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion of your choice, or secular practices of your choice, with respect for the religious/secular persuasions and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all.

I wish you a financially successful, personally fulfilling and medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally accepted Gregorian calendar year 2005, but with due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures or sects, and having regard to the race, creed, colour, age, physical ability, religious faith, choice of computer platform or sexual preference of the wishee.

By accepting this greeting you are bound by these terms that:

This greeting is subject to further clarification or withdrawal. 1.This greeting is freely transferable provided that no alteration shall be made to the original greeting and that the proprietary rights of the wishor are acknowledged. 2.This greeting implies no promise by the wishor to actually implement the inferences contained in this correspondence. 3.This greeting may not be enforceable in certain jurisdictions and/or the restrictions herein may not be binding upon certain wishees in certain geographical locations. 4.This greeting is warranted to perform as reasonably as may be expected within the usual application of good tidings, for a period of one year or until the issuance of a subsequent holiday greeting, whichever comes first. 5.The wishor warrants this greeting only for the limited replacement of this wish or issuance of a new wish at the sole discretion of the wishor.

Cheers!!!
Craig

A pro fishermans worst nightmare!!!!

2006-12-11T23:10:00.000-07:00

The Day I Met Mike!!!

2006-11-30T03:30:00.000-07:00

Me: Yo Tyson, what's up?
Mike: Yo
Me: Dude, I kicked your ass all the time playing punch out on Nintendo...
Mike: Man that's not cool, I'm gonna call my mom and tell on you...
Me: Man just say cheese, while my friend takes a pic!!!
Mike: Hell no man, I told you I'm callin my momma damn it!!!
Me: Mike calm down man, tons of people kicked your ass playing that game.. I mean, you are acting like I said that tattoo on your face looks retarded...
Mike: What? my tattoo is my favorite thing in the whole world, now I'm gonna kick your ass sucka!!!
Me: Hey now hold on a minute, I didn't say you tattoo looks retarded, I said you were acting as if I said it did...
Mike: oh sorry, sometimes word gets me confused..
Me: I bet.. So do you miss the days when everyone played your punchout game?
Mike: Yeah I do, that's why I created Mike Tyson's punchout 2 for Nintendo Wii..
Me: Are you kidding me? Do any of the old characters make a comeback, like bald bull, king hippo, or sodapopinski?
Mike: Oh hell no, in punchout 2 you don't fight me, you are me, and you get to fight all girls!!!
Me: Girls? what do you mean fight all girls?
Mike: Well since they won't let me box girls in real life, I decided to fight them in my new video game!!!
Me: Are you fucking kidding me?
Mike: Hell no!!! And the best thing about it is with the new Nintendo Wii motion controller you can choose to either punch the girl or pimp slap her!!!!

Me: What the hell? Do you get to bite her ear off too?
Mike: What you talkin about I don't bite ears off sucka.. Now you done pissed Mike off!!! I really gonna kick yo ass now!!!
Me: Mike your game sucks ass!!! You are retarded!! Later man!!! Oh and your tattoo really does look retarded!!! LOL.. OK time to run....

Cheers,
Craig

Happy Turkey Day!!!!

2006-11-23T22:57:00.000-07:00

Good Times!!!!!

Halloween!!!

2006-10-30T00:46:00.000-07:00

Hello everyone, this is Lucifer (Vato Jays twin brother)... Lucifer (AKA the red dragon) loves chicks who like chicks, watching girls go wild, and loves all sexy ladies...

Have you ever had, that one Halloween that just sticks out in your mind, the one where you know you had a kick ass costume and just had the most kick ass time... Well this is Lucifurs!!! I would have to say it was mine too... This was Halloween '01, and it took place at Rude Dogs old house... No not that one, the one before that one, remember? lol...

It was so good I can't remember if maximus DJ 'ed or not, but I know he was there... LOL
... As you can see I dressed up as a fat ass cowboy!!! I would have to say I look at least 600 pounds or so.. lol... I think what made this Halloween so awesome was that everyone was there and had kick ass costumes... My brother and cousin jay dressed up as cheerleaders, but the scary thing was Phil looked exactly like my mom... CREEEEPY!!!! lol...

I think Lucifer loved this Halloween bc well he hooked up with like 5 or 8 different chicks, got plastered, and ended up passed out with some random cheerleaders wig... LOL... What makes a great Halloween party is when you get so shit faced and then see pictures that just make you think what the fuck did I do!!! jk... Or am I????

I do remember that some time during the night I lost all of my weight, bc shit it's fucking hot as hell being that fat.. lol...

Happy "late" Halloween!!!

Cheers,
Craig

SHNACKY of the WEEK!!!

2006-10-21T16:26:00.000-06:00

This is long over due, Here is Milla Jovovich, this hottie is special requested from Vato Jay!!! He told me she is the top in his spank bank!!!! SHHH don't tell his wife... lol... Also this is for dave (MLAH), thanks man!!!!

Cheers,
Craig

All Day I Dream About SEX!!!!!

2006-10-20T01:04:00.000-06:00

KORN!!!! FUCKING ROCKS!!!!!

Cheers,
Craig

This chick has pipes!!!

2006-10-13T01:24:00.000-06:00

I went to the Family values tour a while back, and here is a cool video of Flyleaf singing I'm so sick... She's a screamer!!!!

Cheers,
CT

Victory over MLAH!!!!

2006-10-08T16:04:00.000-06:00

Hey everyone I just won a bet against Dave over at MLAH blog... He is an extreme OU fan and since OU got their asses handed to them by the longhorns, he had to post the most awesomest post in the world... LOL... So go check out the post I wrote Here at MLAH!!!!

Hook 'em HORNS!!!!

Craig

Texas Is kicking OU's ASS!!!!

2006-10-07T16:46:00.000-06:00

That's right people Texas is dominating OU!!! O WHO? exactly!!! This means I'll get to do a guest post on MLAH's blog... That's right people look for it tomorrow!!!!

HOOK 'EM HORNS!!!!!!!!!

Damn my head was huge!!!

2006-09-27T00:18:00.000-06:00

Well the movie film festival went off perfectly!!! It should have been called the Mismatch.com festival... LOL... The theater was packed, with newly made fans plus most of the actors from the film... From left to right in the above pic is Chris (the movie producer & director), Me, Kurt (the Main Character), and Mark (played Eddie the bad boy)... I honestly was astonished by how cool the movie looked on the giant screen... Fans laughing the entire movie had to have mad Chris fell like the biggest pimp in the entire world... I didn't stay for the awards that were passed out after the festival, but I have no doubt in my mind that Mismatch.com won more than one!!!!

Bravo Chris!!! Thanks for including me...

Hell I even got asked for an autograph, and directions to the porn shop!!! LOL...

Ok now when will it be out on DVD at blockbuster video so all the out of state people can see it?

Cheers!!!!

What makes the perfect wedding???

2006-09-20T01:01:00.000-06:00

1. As soon as you walk in you see that the drinking age is 4!!!! (you know EVERYONE will be fucked up!!!)
2. The wedding & reception are in the same place & not held in a church...3. There is some shit there that will freak the shit out of you when you are hammered from all the free guiness at the open bar... (pretty much an open bar all night!!! Refer to picture #1)4. No one really knows what the fuck is going on, but they pretend they do...
5. 2 different types of buffets!!! Multicultural even!!!!6. X-mas lights & drunken karaoke!!!!7. A drunken after party with people you just met who end up making out with some random married chic across a fire pit....8. A fucking expensive safe ride home!!!!
Cheers!!!

Film Festival...

2006-09-19T01:11:00.000-06:00

My Friend Chris, who is an independent film maker has hit the small screen!!! That's right people he has entered MISMATCH.COM in the TROMA dance film festival here in ALB, NM... His masterpiece will be shown on Sunday September 24th at 1:15pm at the Guild Cinema.. I encourage anyone and everyone living in the Albuquerque area to go check this out!!!! It's insanely funny!!! Click on the photo for a larger view of the show times and phone number to call for info...
If you don't go see it you won't be able to see me play chuck the porn shop worker!!!

Good Job Chris!!! You are on your way bro...

Cheers!!!!

I don't do memes, but since it's Jane here's something a little extra...

2006-09-11T22:59:00.000-06:00

Jane tagged me for a meme It's a word association deal where I have to put down the first word that comes to mind from these word on this list... Here you go... Jane you asked for it...

1. pleasure - sex
2. secret - sex
3. candy - sex
4. stigma - sex
5. erotic - sex

Hell I'll even be a good sport and do both lists... LOL

1. kiss - sex
2. headache - sex
3. religion - sex
4. fish - sex
5. chocolate - sex

Now I'm not going to tag anyone, but if you are reading this and start thinking damn I feel left out, why does craig hate me... Well then be my guest and do it... I don't hate you... LOL...

And yes everyone Jane and I will most likely be betting again this year... But here is a little reminder of what happened last year... LOL here ya go Jane!!!! Hook 'em Horns!!!!

Cheers

All the sudden I want 8 treadmills...

2006-09-06T02:41:00.000-06:00

Dude I want to ice skate on treadmills!!! Wait nah JK...

Crikey!!!!

2006-09-04T13:55:00.000-06:00

The Crocodile Hunter, was the coolest dude from the land down under.... Today while wrestling a stingray during a diving adventure, he was shot through the heart by a stingray barb and killed... This is indeed not the way anyone would have guessed the death defying croc hunter would check out... I would have pictured him getting taken down by the worlds largest croc "maybe" but definitely not by some fish... This bloody bastard will a bloke that will always be remembered... Now all you bludgers go to a boozer and raise an amber fluid for this croc lovin bushie that has gone cactus on us!!!

G'Day Mate!!!! Cheers!!!

Phil VS. the Ape MAN

2006-09-01T01:05:00.000-06:00

This is what happens when people get drunk with no boobies around!!! BOOBIES WHERE ARE YOU?????????

Cheers!!!!

What's comes to mind when you hear Bachelor Party?

2006-08-30T20:38:00.000-06:00

The first things to pop into my mind are Boobs!!! Gold poles, black lights, night time, lots of beer, boob glitter, a hand full of one dollar bills, definitely lots of hot women everywhere!!!

To my surprise none of this happened... That's right, no night out on the town... I almost thought I was on some fucked up episode of the twilight zone... LOL.. As you can tell from the pic the bachelor party was during the day... There was lots of food.... Lots of half naked dudes... Lots of sand.. Lots of sun... Lots of salt water... Lots of beer!!! (this was a good thing)....

What really sucked in my opinion was that there was lots of kids... Out of all the beaches in California they choose the one that is a family non surfing beach, not a hot chick surfing beach..What a beach!!! Given the situation, everyone started getting blitzed... Drunken people in the ocean is actually an extremely funny thing to see... LOL... Everyone getting pushed down from the waves was a sight...

Half way through the day Mr groom started freaking out about having a sunburned face for the next day... Hmmm maybe that's why most bachelor parties are nocturnal breast loving swarayes? One thing you can count on with lots of guys hammered off their ass and no pussy around is, fighting... Everyone all the sudden was a drunken UFC fighter... LOL... Well ok not everyone, but Phil and this other guy were... See, boobies keep the peace, ALWAYS!!!!

Peace and boobies for everyone,
Craig

IN - N - OUT!!!!

2006-08-29T21:54:00.000-06:00

Hands down the best fast food burger in Cali is the IN-N-OUT double cheeseburger!!! With fresh cut fries of course...And here is Phil showing you how to demolish one... MMMMMM.....

Cheers!!!

PIMP my Cart!!!!

2006-08-28T20:18:00.000-06:00

Ever since I moved to the island I was depressed that the only vehicles allowed were golf carts.. I mean shit who plays golf? And they don't even have heaters, plus most of them don't have doors.. There is only one golf cart dealer on the island, which made it tough to bargain for a good price... It turn out the only thing I could afford was an old junker that barely ran...

This of course made me the laughing stock of the entire island... Kids would throw rotten tomatoes, and garbage at my old rusty golf cart... One time someone put a dead buffalo head along with lots of dead fish in my front seat... It took a long time and lots of fabreeze to get rid of that nasty smell...

Then one day Some thing happened, It shocked me as much as it will shock you!!! EXZIBIT of all people showed up at my front door screaming I'm gonna PIMP YO CART !!! I couldn't believe my eyes.. Could this be really happening? After pinching myself, I let X to the Z take my crappy cart.. Of course he cracked a few jokes, asking if I'm allowed to play golf anymore...

Ha Ha Ha very funny!!!

When Exzibit told me my to come by and check out my pimped out cart, I was stoked!!! When I finally arrive I was amazed... It had a lemon yellow finish with pin stripes, brand new leather interior, heater, A/C, A bumpin system, with Bose surround sound, a movie projector, and 2 plasma flat screen TV's with an xbox 360, and to top it off Lamborghini doors for the winter... But the best part about it was the electric shock alarm system...
Three weeks later 15 people were rushed to the hospital due to electric shock...

Cheers!

CHEERS!!!!

2006-08-26T13:13:00.000-06:00

Yellow boats are crazy!!!

2006-08-26T13:12:00.000-06:00

Wow this song says alot!!!!

2006-08-23T02:27:00.000-06:00

Thanks for the song Rach!!!

Cheers,
Craig

Aloha!!! Wait wrong island... LOL...

2006-08-21T21:40:00.000-06:00

When we get to Avalon the main city of Catalina Island, we are just amazed... Well for starters everything is within walking distance, which is so pimp... The water was insane clear, unlike the beaches we went to off the mainland which were cloudy and muggy.... You could actually see when a shark attacks you... LOL...

We decided to take a raft tour up the coast of the island to check out some more of the cool sights... This tour was pretty cool, we also got to learn some crazy details about the island, like only a limited number of cars are allowed on the island... So everyone on the island drives golf carts... We also found out that many of the residents don't actually stay on the island but live on their boats tied up in the bay...

The guide also told us there are herds of buffalo on the island, this made me crack up.... Well because I work with a buffalo... LOL... We didn't get to see the herd on the boat trip but we did get to see a few dolphins that were jumping around the boat... People were actually talking about jumping out and swimming with them, but hell I bet a wild dolphin would bite the fuck out of some random person trying to pet it... What were the people thinking? That this was seaworld? Fucking idiots, knowing my luck I would get caught in a tuna net... LOL.. JK..

I didn't get a pic of the dolphins bc they were too fast, but I did a rare picture of a pair of twins that kept staring at Phil during the whole boat ride...The twins did keep flirting with Phil the entire boat ride.. Too bad they were with the entire family, otherwise Phil would have been playing with the flotation devices the whole night...
Instead we found a bar by the beach, then another bar on main street, and another bar, met some local hotties, then another bar, then floated back to the mainland.... LOL...

Cheers,
Craig

The plane, the plane!!!!

2006-08-19T11:47:00.000-06:00

Wait I mean the boat, the boat!!! LOL... Our next day on the coast we decide to go check out Catalina Island... There are only 2 ways to get to the island, by chopper or boat... Since the boat was 1/3 the price we took the boat over... It was cool, hell we got a free beer on the boat, and got to bullshit with some local islanders...

Catalina island isn't really that far from the coast at all... The boat ride only took a little over an hour... But hey we got to see the Queen Mary on the way there, you know the old ocean liner that the recent cast of last comic standing stayed on... There sure are a lot of oil riggs off of the coast though... That was kind of crazy...

I think I kind of expected the island to be flat for some reason... I guess it's because when I went to south padre island Texas in the gulf coast it was totally flat... Catalina was definitely not flat in fact it had some awesome hills, and cliffs... I was told that there are only 2 cities on the island, but lots of little camps for the scouts, YMCA and stuff...

When we finally got to the island we didn't really have plan... Hmmm what would hot women with implants do on an island?

Cheers,
Craig

Saw the Police and they rode ride past me...

2006-08-16T00:01:00.000-06:00

Our first day in Orange County, Phil and I decide to catch some waves... So we take the PCH to Huntington Beach... From Irvine that a short drive, but being that Phil and I were in a rental car and unfamiliar with the territory, it took us a while longer... LOL... A while later, we get to the beach we want to surf in Huntington...

I miss the turn off to the parking lot to the beach, and have to do a U TURN, to get back to where we need to be... This is when I see flashing lights behind me... Yep I got pulled over again, and NO this time it wasn't for speeding... LOL.. Actually when the cop asked if I knew why he pulled me over I ended up getting that question wrong... I said "for doing a U TURN?".. This monkey fucker laughed at me and said no, you can do U Turns there just not when there is a RED arrow... Well I guess I just saw that the light was green and figured I was ok to go... Then this fucking cock smoker starts asking me all these fucking stupid questions like why I'm in town and what I do for a living.. I'm thinking hey is he fucking going to ask me to the prom or what? This Fucking Mudd shark, after an hour inquisition gives me a ticket.... Before he leaves he says I know there are lots of hot girls here but that's no excuse for driving like that!!!

Are you fucking kidding me?? How about hey I'm not from here you fucking pillow biter!!! So now I have to take driving school once again, but this time I get to take it online... LOL..

I decide not to let this ruin our day of surfing... We then get to the spot we want to surf, rent some boards and get in the waves... When we rented our surf boards, I ended up getting the gay pink surf board... LOL... Phil had a field day with this, especially BC he said I would end up with a pink one before we rented them... LOL...

Getting out in the ocean was awesome... Even with the pink board... The beach we surfed was north Huntington beach Called Bolsa Chica... It was just too bad the waves really sucked, they kept breaking to close to shore.. But that didn't stop us from trying... LOL... And even though all of these crappy thing happened it didn't stop Phil and I from having a blast... I mean hell I got some kick ass surfing wounds... LOL.. Chicks love scars!!!

Confused about Bolsa Chica? The truth is the waves suck... But don't let that stop you from checking it out... I bet the bon fires at night really kick ass there...

After a few hours of surfing we grab some eats at a place called the longboard, off of the main strip in Huntington... Can anyone guess what Phils favorite part about that was? Yes watching all of the implants walk by... LOL, I can't lie it was mine too... Shit we saw women from 16 to 80 with implants it was crazy... Does every woman in Cali have fakies? I'm not complaining just asking... LOL...
Check out our little cute waitress... She loved Phil, hell she invited us (him) out with her and her roommate that night...Good Times,
Craig

Anyone have an extra seat cushion?

2006-08-11T00:07:00.000-06:00

who ever heard of anyone being saved by an airplane seat cushion? Hell if you crashed in the ocean and actually survived the crash, do you really think you would be able to hold on to the cushion for very long in the freezing cold water? LOL... I'm BACK!!!!

California kicks ass!!!!

To top everything off, today I won tickets to the Family values tour, which ROCKS, bc I've never seen Korn live!!!! I'm also stoked about seeing flyleaf bc that chicks got some pipes, and she's HOT!!!

So after they tell me I won the tickets, they also happen to mention that I get my name thrown in a drawing for a vespa!!! LOL... I most likely won't win it, but it's FF anyways... If I win it I might have to start drinking starbucks, and join a book club... LOL....

Cheers,
CT

I'm going back to Cali....

2006-08-01T23:53:00.000-06:00

I'll Be back next week!!!! With pics and stories....

Cheers,
CT

I trimmed my BUSH!!!!!

2006-08-01T00:53:00.000-06:00

Well I guess I needed some bush maintenance... I got a letter from the city saying my bush was out of control, and I needed to trim it so its presentable.... LOL... So I gave it a bikini wax!!! Now my bush is high and tight, and silky smooth... LOL...

They also said Phils boat is too far into the sidewalk, which I think is a load of crap... Well Jeff agrees, and I think he wants to bite the guy who works for the city....

Hey and don't mind the hair... Who needs to shower before a good bush trimming?

P.S. Good job on your post Rach, you can be my guest blogger anytime!!!!
Cheers,
CT

Tribute

2006-07-28T01:15:00.000-06:00

Hello Blog People. You all know me as rlg. I'm the saucy commenter that simply doesn't know when to shut up. I'm guest blogging as a favor to CT and until 12 hours ago this was going to be a totally different guest spot. Aaahh, but how quickly my mind can be changed....

I've decided to tell you a story---a story of mediocre sex and much melodrama. Any characterizations that point you straight to a real person, well, that's just a silly misunderstanding. I swear! I swear on ten Holy Bibles!!

There once was a lusty and chauvinistic man named Lothario who decided to woo and win the sexual favors of a seemingly normal girl. Nelly fell for Lothario's smooth words and in short order they found themselves in a full blown spring fling. Unfortunately the sex was awful, they had nothing in common, and the fling soon fizzled. Things may have died off right there except that Lothario told a tiny naughty detail of the fling to a friend and when Nelly found out she lost her temper and publicly denounced and berated the whole affair. So Lothario responded in kind and a long and deeply evil blog war ensued. Eventually a bloody but brilliant truce was called. Lothario's reputations was in tatters and Nelly was on the edge of a psychotic breakdown but it was agreed that the whole nasty mess would never be dredged up again and they would live on opposite sides of the world...and certainly not ever have contact again....

There came a day, however, when Nelly thought, "You know that whole spring fling wasn't half bad. We could work on the sex and I can woo and win Lothario and live happily ever after!" Lothario, on the other hand, had moved on and was wooing and having fabulous sexual congress with a nice lady named Eve. Eve was much taken with Lothario and not about to let Nelly have a chance at him again. Nelly tried to IM and text message Lothario. Lothario ignored her. Then she tried voice messages and email. Lothario ignored her. Nelly's pleas for forgiveness and pledges of love and friendship turned to rages and violent verbal assaults. Lothario ignored her. Nelly sent presents and tokens of love. Lothario ignored her. He ignored Nelly not out of spite and hate but because he was, mmmmmm, well, firmly buried in his relations with Eve.

One day Eve said to Lothario, "Let's runaway to Borneo and raise trunk monkeys and leave Nelly's nasty hounding behind." And so they did and lived happily ever after.

The end

Epilogue: In a strange and certainly unrelated event, Nelly was killed shortly there after by a rouge trunk monkey attack when she tried to debark from a plane in Borneo. Stalker laws there are very strict....LOL....LMAO....

I hope this story clarifies things for all of CT's blog readers.

And when we next hear reports of CT in bed and screaming....I really doubt that he'll be blaming it on bad dreams....

LOL, Rach

Guess what????

2006-07-26T20:36:00.000-06:00

I'm going to have another guest blogger... She isn't a blogger but a loyal reader...

She approached me the other day saying she was interested in writing a post... She wouldn't tell me what she wants to write about, so that made me even more excited to see what she writes...

I told her I didn't have any rules, just go for it!!! I know she is a good writer so I have no doubt the blog world will love her....

Here's ?????? I can't just give it away yet... You need a surprise!!! Well at least you know she's a girl.... lol....

Until Next Time,
CT

Can you hear what I hear????

2006-07-25T00:31:00.000-06:00

This Mosquito ringtone is the new hot ringtone among mid and high school kids.... They use it BC supposedly MOST adults over the age of 30 aren't able to hear it... I actually thought I wouldn't be able to hear it BC of all the concerts I've been to... LOL...
But to my surprise I could hear it no problem!!! In fact I think it's fucking annoying!!!! I really don't understand why anyone would want this ringtone? The vibrate mode on a cell is more stealth and a TON less annoying than this retarded ringtone...

I read that it was developed from an antitheft technique in the United Kingdom, where it was used to deter youth crimes such as shoplifting... Well I guess their plan backfired!!! LOL... Some kid out there who recorded it then spread it on the web is probably making some cash off of the good old UK...

Do you know what the fucked up thing is??? My fucking monitor at work makes the same fucking high pitch sound!!!! IT DRIVES ME CRAZY!!! I beat the shit out of my monitor all day to try and get it to stop, and sometimes it does for a while... But guess what? It always fucking comes back!!!!! I'm sorry but to have this as a ringtone would make me throw my phone against a wall!!! LOL...

Well try it out already.... Just press the button on the left next to the word mosquito tone.... Can you hear it?

Cheers,
Craig

AARRR Matey I jumped ship!!!!

2006-07-23T22:13:00.002-06:00

Well It's official... After 2 seasons with the DC's I decided to jump ship... The first season was great with the DC's, but last season got a little crazy with all the shit talking and stupid gay drama that went on... I was actually considering just sitting this season out and not playing at all... But then my Best Friend Big Al asked me to be on his team "The All Blacks" which is actually the team I played for during the national tourny when we took 3rd.... So I figured what the hell and did it!!!! See most of the shit talking was from my old captain and a handful of players, about Big Al, BC he had started his own team... At first it was just fun and games, but then these stupid ho's had to take it to the next level, which made it not fun at all....

Here I go starting the new season with a new team and the slate is clean... Until my old team start taking shit about me for leaving... LOL... They probably don't know yet... LMFAO!!!!

Cheers to new beginnings!!!!

CT

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!

2006-07-19T19:23:00.000-06:00

That's what I said about 4 am Monday night... I had some crazy ass nightmare and apparently yelled twice and kicking the wall in my room... LOL... Yeah, Jeff got freaked out and jumped on phils bed and started growling too....

The weird thing is all I can remember is that I was somewhere in between awake and sleep, and someone was trying to get me... Phil and Dog both said they heard me and I probably woke up the whole block... LOL...

I guess it's a good thing Phil didn't bring in his gun and start blasting, bc he said he thought we were getting robbed after he heard me... LOL... Anyways just thought I'd share some funny crap...

PS. Happy late hump day!!!

Cheers,
CT

Seriously I need one of these!!!!!

2006-07-12T00:39:00.000-06:00

See If I had a trunk monkey, I think a lot of my problems would disappear... NO MORE SPEEDING TICKETS!!!! LOL... But I would have to expand to have it be a desk monkey at work too... For example when the buffalo came up to me at work today to preach to me about religion, I could have had my trunk monkey throw hooters wings at her fat ass until she left me alone!!! That would be awesome!!! And when diarrhea comes to dump her psychotic episodes on me, my desk monkey could make fart noises making fun of her while pointing and laughing until she went away, and if that doesn't work he could always throw staplers... LOL...

I really think having a desk/trunk monkey would do wonders... But I would probably get in trouble BC they would discriminate against monkeys or something... And knowing my luck I would get a dysfunctional monkey with a drug problem or something... I would have to give him like a pound of chronic just to get him to get the psychos off my back... And it would only get worse from there since weed is a gateway drug, he would then graduate to coke and later heroin.... Hell, I couldn't have a monkey dealing drugs out of my desk/trunk... Plus bananas could get expensive.... Hmmm maybe I should just get a dog....

P.S. Stew, thanks for saving me from the buffalo tonight, I owe you one!!!!

Cheers,
CT

I've been hanging around this town on the corner.....

2006-07-10T00:43:00.000-06:00

The Counting Crows were the finishing act of this kick ass concert... And they were really amazing... I was a little bummed that the didn't play Mr. Jones... But hey that's like Getting Dave Matthews to play crash at every concert... LOL... Besides not having the song I wanted played, I couldn't have asked for a better performance... Hell even with the crappy rain, they kicked ass...
For some reason I think Adam Duritz "lead singer of the Counting Crows" like to chill on stage bare foot... Hell It was raining that night anyways might as well...

Ok now is this song about a hooker? Hmmm think about it... Maybe a hooker not getting any work... "Standing around on the corner for way to long"... Yeah it has to be, some ugly ass hooker... LOL....

Cheers,
CT

a DOG named RUDE...

2006-07-06T00:21:00.000-06:00

Monday morning I found a surprise on my desk... 2 tickets to the Counting Crows / Goo Goo Dolls concert with a post it note attached saying "gift to you"... Hell yeah Rude Dog gave me 2 free tickets to this kick ass concert!!!! And it really was an awesome show... So I have to give props to my roomate/BFF Rude Dog for the sweet hook up... See I knew taking him to some of those concerts I won last year would pay off!!! RD you rock, thanks again bro!!!!!!

Both bands were phenomenal... So what I did was take a few video clips so you could check out a bit of the ACTION!!!!... Here you go....

Cheers,
CT

Happy 4TH!!!!

2006-07-04T21:24:00.000-06:00

Kick the tires and light the fires!!!!!!

Cheers,
CT

Promiscuous MOM!!!!

2006-07-02T22:30:00.000-06:00

The other day while I was picking up lunch I surprisingly ran into an old coworker of mine... Lets call her snickers... So after I got my food and started walking out the door, I was ambushed by Snickers and her mom... They yelled out my name and waived me over... At first I didn't recognize her, but then it clicked... I haven't seen this girl in like maybe 5 or 6 years, so she looked a little different but not much... I had seen her mom a few times back then too bc her mom use to pick her up from work.....

To give you a mental pic, snickers is about 5'4, blonde, and an average build... The last I had heard she was in the military off in a far off land... Well apparently she was back... What was kind of weird was that almost everytime I asked snickers a question her mom kept answering for her... Hmmm..

So after a bit of catching up, snickers asks for my number... I give it to her, and tell her she can come swim at my house sometime... Then I take off... To be honest I'm not really attracted to her and I never expected her to call so I wasn't really worried...

Last night I get a call on my phone around 8pm from an unknown number... But whoever it was ended up leaving a voicemail... I listen to the voicemail, and DUDE IT'S HER MOM!!!!! She said hey It's snickers mom and I wanted to see if snicker and I could come over and swim tomorrow...

ARE YOU KIDDING ME!!!!! Dude... I'm sorry but no I'm not calling her mom back so snickers and her mom can come swim!!!! I mean what kind of woman does this? Did she steal my number from her daughter in hopes that I might let her rob the cradle? Am I the only guy that she has done this to, or are there others? Does she photo copy snickers black book? Seriously this is some freaky shit... I swear why does this crazy ass shit always have to happen to me? I guess I just attract freaks... LOL...

Hell even if she was a MILF, which she's not, I still don't know if I could do that... I have to steal Rachael's word for this instance... Yep this is just creepy!!!!

Maybe I should start a support group, SMV (snickers mom's victims)... LOL...

Cheers,
CT

SHNACKY of the WEEK!!!

2006-06-29T17:40:00.000-06:00

This Shnacky is a special request from Big Al.... Christina Aguilera better known as Xtina went from being an innocent wholesome genie in a bottle, to a dirty bad girl with a nipple ring... OOOH yeah big Al was right about her she's the type of girl who likes it rough!!!! Whips and chains anyone? I bet Xtina has a different whip for every day of the week... I think her new song "aint no other man" is about me... LOL... Hell it has to be right?

Good times,
CT

What the Hail!!!!

2006-06-27T00:05:00.000-06:00

I was on my way home from work on my motorcycle and I missed this by 10 minutes!!!! The party room roof started leaking like a faucet, and my pool over flowed... LOL... I'm just glad I didn't get nailed with hail on the freeway going 70 + MPH....

Good Times,
CT

See if you can beat my score!!!!

2006-06-25T02:02:00.000-06:00

Batter UP!!! Click the picture to give it a try!!!

Via Big Al

Cheers,
CT

I need one of these!!!!

2006-06-22T01:00:00.000-06:00

especially when I go visit big Al on the westside!!!

Cheers,
CT

DRUGS?

2006-06-21T02:06:00.000-06:00

The other day at work they showed everyone what drugs people could be on at one booth, while showing how to find the vein in a rubber arm to stick a needle in at another booth... It's a good thing there were no crackheads there... At least I hope there weren't.... lol

Cheers,
CT

Karate kid was a futbol pro....

2006-06-19T22:31:00.000-06:00

Sometimes when I'm sitting at my desk at work, I wonder what the hot Swiss girls are doing in Germany at that moment.... Could they be good gaming each other? How about holding one another upside down?

Sometimes I think I chose the wrong profession in the wrong country... I think I should have been a European futbol star... Hell they are more pimp than rock stars... They get all of the sex crazed hotties without the crazy ass mosh pits...

Sometimes I wonder if Brittany spears was a European futbol groupie, would she look the way she does now? I think she has changed professions... Sometimes I think Brittany secretly dreams about being a futbol groupie... I bet she paints her stomach like a futbol sometimes just to get in the spirit...

Wait she is looking at us, with that... Yes that hunger look... She is imagining you are a bag of funions... Hurry tell her that you are fake onions and maybe she'll look away!!! Shit it didn't work... She even looks hungrier now, damn it why did you listen to me? It's all your fault now she'll eat us all unless you go buy her a supersized happy meal and a brand new futbol...

Sometimes I wish I could have seen my friend get hit on by a married chick in Vegas... Then almost kick her husbands ass when he got pissed at him...

Sometimes I think happy hours should last all day... And my friends could make fun of a mazano haircut for hours on end....

Sometimes I wish beer was always free at happy hour.... Then Marky Mark would always do stand up during open mic night... His time is coming soon I hope..

Cheers,
CT

The main reason why I want to watch soccer in Germany live!!!!

2006-06-19T01:04:00.000-06:00

Why does it have to be so damn boring to watch on TV? Anyone want to fly me to Germany so I can take in all the fruits soccer has to offer? LOL....

Cheers,
CT

SHNACKY of the WEEK!!!

2006-06-15T00:43:00.000-06:00

Who's the boss? Well Alyssa Milano is... That's right I've had a crush on her since she was known as Sam on Who's the Boss... It's just a good thing that she stayed hot throughout the years.. Now she plays a hot witch with no powers on a show called Charmed... To tell you the truth I think she has some very potent seductive powers!!!! LOL... Oh yeah If you haven't seen the movie <embrace of the vampire>, I HIGHLY RECOMMEND IT!!!! (her milano's are hypnotizing)>>> LOL...

See I told you she had a power or two...

Cheers,
CT

Get out some frustrations!!!!

2006-06-13T18:47:00.000-06:00

Have you ever just wants to kill some stick figures? If so you have to try this out!!!!! Damn I didn't know stick figures could bleed... LOL... This is my score below, lets see if you can kill more than me!!!! Click on the pic to start shooting....

Via Big AL...
Good Times,
CT

Shit Happens!!!! A LOT!!!!

2006-06-11T14:13:00.000-06:00

Yesterday we were planning to attend Maximus's wedding which was at 1:30... Around 1 my I get a call from the Forrest service saying that my mom and her boyfriend and his cousin and husband had broke down in the Jemez mountains and they need transport back to Albuquerque... They also say that we need to have enough room to transport 4 people and a dog... LOL.. So we had to end up taking 2 vehicles to get them BC Phil and I both have a truck...

When we finally get there mom and her BF's cuz's hubby are there waiting for us at the game and fish welcome center deal.... It took us a while to get there well BC weekend traffic sucks and it was pretty far... Shortly after the tow truck they called shows up with the other two and shark dog!!! Being that these crazy hikers hadn't eaten in a long time they decided to eat some of the local cuisine, actually if you look in the picture to the left of my moms head there is a little hut off the side of the road.. I guess these native Indians have these little food hut's along side the road every few feet where they sell Indian tacos and fry bread and such....

So they ate and we headed back to BUQUE... We ended up making it back just in time for the reception... At 5pm well we got there at 5:30 but who's keeping track? lol... The reception was pretty cool, the food was great... The music was good too... Well we kinda figured the music would be good since maximus is a DJ and all...LOL...
They had all the traditional catholic wedding dances mixed with some disco country rap action.. It's just too bad there was absolutely no hotties at all... Hell Phil had to resort to calling his ex to come dance with him!!! lol...

I mean the age range was above 90 or below 16 and nothing in between... lol... Damn that wedding crashers movie!!! lol... Maybe it's different in other states? None the less we drank instead.. We ended up partying up in vato jays room till around 4 in the morning...

It started out all drunk and fun but then got a little crazy!!! Hey it's a good way to get sober really fast... lol... The convos just started down the relationship path, and what do you know everyone had something to offer on that subject... It was so crazy I got the hicups.. lol... But I can say that some of twins did get their feelings out in the open and I think patched up some long over due tensions... We all talked bullshitted and argued (guys vs girls) mainly, till I couldn't keep my eyes open any longer... LOL...

4am came and we all took off...

Actually we talked to Lucifer and his woman in the lot for a while longer then split!!! lol... Now I am tired as shit!!! AND MY INTERNET IS BACK UP!!!!!! yep it was down for about a week... Shitty Bonitty!!!!

But Hey I actually found someone who would lick the ICE!!!!!

Cheers,
CT

Maximus got boobie trapped!!!!!

2006-05-30T17:32:00.000-06:00

My Good friend Maximus called me up a couple months ago and told me that he had retired... Me being the sarcastic person I am I replied are you moving to Florida then? LOL... After finding out that I was way off base, and that he had really retired from PIMPIN... The shock set in!!!! Maximus, getting married? No Fucking Way!!!! I thought for sure he would be the Hugh Heffner for life friend of mine... Being a popular DJ in town he always has more than enough SHNACKY around him... Because doesn't every female want to bang the DJ? Let me answer for you, YES YOU DO!!! LOL....

So then Maximus throws out the idea of a one last stand in the arena... AND LUCIFER'S IN CHARGE!!!!! Well you know a bachelor party is going to be insane if the one and only LUCIFER is making it happen... Yes that means he is the best man too... What better way to go down in flames....

So the crew shows up at my house around 6 ish for a little pre party.... They not only had a chauffeured van, but a huge Ice chest full of bottled action!!!! After we drink enough alcohol to tranquilize a horse... We get the driver to take us to the first spot... Do you have to guess where we went? Yep a strip club!!!!

This is where Maximus ran into a topples blonde girl with ass dimples.... I think she dry humped him until his balls fell off... Then Lucifer, worked his magic and got him on stage....This is where 5 women shoved tits, ass, and lots of vagina in his face!!!! Then after they gave him enough stripper dust, they bent him down on all 4's and whipped the shit out of him, and told him he was making a terrible mistake... LOL... Then we had more shot and beer...Well he had to numb his ass somehow...LOL... 15-20 lap dances later our driver picks us up and we make like a fetus and head out!!!!

But wait our driver picked up some girlie action of his own... LOL... I guess he had to get his own action while we were in there with ass dimples right? Lucifer then directs the driver to a place where we could come in and look at some boobies too...
Like he wasn't already.. LOL... Now this place was a little different from the last place... It was like the million vagina march... Yep these girls were showing Snatch, taco, bearded clam, putang, beaver, fur burger, hoo haa, VAGINA!!! This got Maximus overly excited...

Once again Lucifer did some magic and Maximus was back up on stage with another handful of fully nude girls!!!! He not only got lots of naked action and stripper dust shoved all over his body... He also got an amazing vagina titter totter around his neck... LMFAO... This was the funniest thing I have ever seen... Maximus is backed up against the pole, and these 2 girls mount up on his shoulders,(one in back and one in front) then move up and down like a titter totter and beaver banged the hell out of him... LOL...

Our next destination was IHOP... LOL... For some reason stripper dust makes Maximus very hungry.. We all ate then went home and passed out... At least Maximus can say the devil made him do it!!! LOL...

Cheers,
CT

Say hello to shimmy shoe!!!

2006-05-16T23:27:00.000-06:00

This is the rap debut of some bum that said he wanted to be famous... He said that he loved bloggers, So I said I would give him a shot at the big time... All I know is that he loves the sauce!!!!

Cheers,
CT

Big Al's steamy DUMP!!!

2006-05-15T23:43:00.000-06:00

Be a mean cab driver:
http://www.entertainmentanytime.com/

All-Time Worldwide Boxoffice
http://imdb.com/boxoffice/alltimegross?region=world-wide

How They Rebuilt Stonehenge
http://www.ufos-aliens.co.uk/cosmicstonehenge.htm

Oops. Don't use this guy's images on your web site or else!
http://www.bryantchoung.com/archives/2005/12/dont_leach_band.shtml

Christmas songs!
http://www.sundog.net/carolofthechins/flash/index.html

Drug Abuse Aging Photos
http://www.boreme.com/boreme/funny-2003/i_drug_abuse.php?gobackto=funny-top10qqtop10-monthly-2005-JUL

Women Drivers I Tell Ya
http://ueba.com.br/forums/index.php?showtopic=17459

Making fun of Bush's speechs
http://www.putfile.com/media.php?n=george_bush

Nice 3-D Wallpapers
http://www.shiftedreality.com/cgi-bin/imagefolio/imageFolio.cgi?direct=wall

Thanks AL!

Cheers,
CT

SHNACKY of the WEEK!!!

2006-05-13T12:26:00.000-06:00

I'm at a loss for words!!! MLAH here you go bro.... This one has been long awaited.... And there is no better way to start a new shnacky than to introduce the one and only Jessica Simpson!!!!

WOW!!!
CT

ARRRRR 3rd place!!!!

2006-04-26T22:41:00.000-06:00

Friday night Big Al called Phil and I and said he was a couple players short, and asked if we could play on his team for the kickball tournament on Saturday morning... We said sure... So on Saturday morning when we got there, it turned out that 2 of big Al's girl players were no shows, one got plastered the night before and passed out somewhere random the other girl just never called... Al, Phil and I then frantically started calling every girl over 21 that we knew to try and scrounge up 2 last minute players... Hell I even called my mom to see if she wanted to play... LOL...
It turned out ok though, bc our score keepers friend decided to play, and Al got the team captain of one of the league teams to come play.... Yeah it was a close call... So as the tourny started we just started kicking ass... The first game we played we won by a land slide... Then just kept winning, it was insane... BC we were just a team that was put together in the last minute... The best part about it was that we ended up taking 3rd out of 40 teams... It just kinda sucked that we had to lose to a team made up of mostly players from my league team... LOL.. Yeah I'll never hear the end of the trader talk... LOL...

Good Times!!!
Craig

HBM!!!

2006-04-25T00:38:00.000-06:00

Well HBM told Mac, Jeff, Phil, and I to meet her and her hot friends at a bar after the wedding... Yes people MAC had done it... The millionaire Playboy has landed the HBM and her hot friends for the crew!!! With everyone stoked about a 90% chance of hooking up, we proceeded to the bar where the hotties were... But you have to watch the video to see what happened... sorry I can't spoil it... LOL...

Cheers,
CT

Wolfman Phil in ACTION!!!!

2006-04-21T01:50:00.000-06:00

Wolfman Phil gets legs!!!!

2006-04-19T00:41:00.000-06:00

I guess I need to back peddle a bit... Some time in between where I left off, the wedding continued with it's crazy rituals.. You know the rituals that make everyone there that's single feel like complete losers for being so... LOL.. Yeah you guessed it the flower catching and the chastity belt grab.. LMFAO..

So everyone crowds around steevo, while he takes a peak at what he will be doing later, and grabs the belt of garter... This is pretty funny at some weddings bc sometimes the groom will just stay down there for hours just to make the crowd wait... LOL... But not steevo he was out fairly fast...

Well Since they did the throw of the flowers first, it just so happens that the girl who I had earlier tried to hook up Mac with had caught the flowers... So I knew that I was definitely not going to catch anything... LOL... Who knows what they would make the guy who caught the belt do? LOL...

Well it turns out that when Steeevo turned around and flung the garter belt it landed right in Wolfman Phil's hands...LOL... Wheeew, now I didn't have to be in the lime light... Or have to talk to the girl that Mac shafted, for the HBM...

Well it Turns out that Wolf man Phil was the man of the hour!!! Phil not only got rock star treatment for the rest of the night, but he also got to stick this belt ALL THE WAY back up this random girls leg!!! Now tell me if it's not every woman's fantasy to have a wolf man (with dynamic abs I might add) get within inches of her cha cha... LOL... That turned out to be pretty funny, and yeah she loved the wolf man Phil...

This crazy turn of events somehow inspired one of steevos friends to sing for everyone, yeah some old country song that has escaped my mind forever... LOL... This of course led to more drinking, (with an open bar how could it not?)... Plus at this point I hadn't thrown in the towel with HBM just yet... LOL.. "Brick wall, head SLAM SLAM..." LOL...

With wolfman Phil's new celeb status the night got even more kick ass... It was almost like Phil was Brad Pitt... LOL... Givin out hugs and high fives everywhere!

Cheers,
Craig

What a shaggrific plan!!!!

2006-04-12T21:44:00.000-06:00

After getting past all of the driving, we finally end up in Houston... We Had stayed the previous night with Goose in Austin, which made our trip that day only a little over 3 hours... Goose kicks ass!!!

So we get to Steevo's APT, and he and the best man Brent are all pimped out in their tuxes already... Yeah we cut it that close, but hey the wolf man and I are good at making it on time... After finding the wedding spot in one of the most gynormous cities I've been in, we bullshit for a bit and the find a spot to camp out...
The wedding itself was pretty cool, it was outdoors on this patio... Plus the weather was perfect... What was even better was the fact that we didn't have to drive anywhere for the reception, bc it was inside the building of the patio we were on... LOL... That rocked!!! Well shit who wants to get lost in Houston? Not me... LOL...

When the kissing was done everyone went inside and started drinking... LOL.. Wait did I mention it was an open bar? Fuck YES it was an open bar!!!! So the wolf man and I decided to mingle a bit before we ate... This is when I spotted her... The hot brides maid (HBM)... Holy shit was this chick smokin hot!!! The only thing that sucked was the guy to girl ratio... Two of steevo's other friends who Phil and I were talking to were checking her out after I pointed her out to Phil...

This posed a possible threat to my plan of shagging the hot bridesmaid, mainly because one of steevo's friends named Mac is some sort of millionaire tycoon, and he was about a foot taller than me.... Just in case she was a gold digger, I had to come up with a plan!!! As soon as another decent looking girl walked by I pointed her out to the group, Mac and Jeff (steevo's friends) thought she was hot too....

Phase 1:
I walked up to the cute woman and started up a convo, mainly just about the wedding and crap..Oh and had to find out if she was single and had any girlfriends there... Yes!!! She was single, and she had a single friend with her...

Phase 2: I then told her to go get her friend and come back, when she did this I waived over Mac and Jeff, and told Mac this girl was checking him out and wanted to talk.. He seemed down for it... So when the girl came back with her friend I introduced her and her friend to Mac and Jeff, and started them on a conversation about the chocolate fountain, and being naked... LOL..

Phase 3: As soon as the group seemed to be getting comfortable, I slipped away... This is when I tracked down the Hot Brides Maid (HBM)...
And started my own ACTION!!!! I told Phil to run interference for me so I could get some quality convo in without interruption... And an awesome convo we had.. She had a kick ass personality, and was single... Shit, and she laughed at all my sarcasm... I had her eating out of the palm of my hand... At this point nothing could go wrong... I felt like a wedding crasher!!!

Interference: Just after I lined up a dance with the HBM... The Groom Steevo comes over with Wolf man Phil... I thought that was awesome!!! I figured my brohan the groom would make me look good and help me get in with the HBM even better.... This is when everything turned slow motion, and Steevo Yells "HEY MAC COME HERE!!!"and says to the HBM "This is my MILLIONAIRE friend Mac"... This was when the downward spiral began... HBM's EYES lit up with hunger when she heard what steevo said.... From this moment on all of her attention reverted to Mac and his Gucci suit while he showed her pics of his new mercedes... I thought hey I might still have a fighting chance, but when I tried to joke with her and was totally ignored was when I threw in the towel... Wolf man Phil did some recon and told me " I ain"t sayin she's a gold digger but she ain't hangin with no broke nigga!!"...

So I try and throw a positive spin on things now that HBM is out of play... I tell Mac to get her and some of her hot friends to meet us out for drinks after the wedding!!! AND HE DID IT!!!
TO BE CONTINUED>>>

Cheers,
CT

I can't believe today was a good day....

2006-04-05T19:19:00.000-06:00

Just waking up this morning not going to my pod, I thought today seemed kind of odd.... There was no barking from the dog, no smog, and I ate breakfast with no hog... I got my drive on, but didn't peel out... Finally got past a town I don't wanna feel out... Looked at the trailer as I hit the do' Thinkin will I pay, another eighty-fo'... Had to stop, at a red light Lookin in my mirror and not a Farmer in sight, And everything is alright...

I got up around 5:50 am this morning, and man did that suck ass.... I ended up leaving town around 7 after picking up my moms radar detector, Yep don't want another ticket!!! Mapquest said that it would take around 2 1/2 hours to get to fort Sumner... Well I made it in under two.... LOL... Hey I know what your thinking, why the hell are you speeding? Dude they know I live in ALB and they still set my time for 10 AM and shit I didn't want to be late...

So when I got there around 9 I had to ask for directions where the court was bc, this little town didn't have any cell service and I couldn't call... LOL... Great!!! So I locate the nearest farmer and ask for directions... I get to the court at 9:15, and was kind of expecting to get some brownie points with the judge, oh and I dressed very nerdy (didn't spike my hair and wore my glasses) LOL... Well the judge gave me the option to either call the cop and see if he's coming or wait till 10 am and see if he shows up... Not being an idiot I decided to take option B, bc shit I didn't want to remind this cop if he somehow forgot...

I waited till 10 am and the cop was a no show!!! Yep so the judge dismissed the ticket and I didn't have to pay anything... LOL.... Oh yeah!!!! Since I got away scott free I decided to see for myself what all the hype was about this town... This town is famous for being the town where Billy the Kid was killed... So I went to the famous Billy the Kid Museum, and saw the grave of the famous gun slinger... I figured the least I could do is pay a $4 admission to the lame museum bc I dodged a $80 ticket... Yeah it turned out that the actual Billy the Kid part of the museum was pretty small, and the rest of the place was filled with old junk.... Oh well I guess you get what you pay for right? After about 45 min in there I made the journey back home!!!

So I would definitely say today was a good day!!!! And my record is still clean!!!

thanks for everyone's advice!!!
Good times...
Craig

Oh the smells of Texas!!!

2006-03-30T23:28:00.000-07:00

While driving through Texas I realized something... There are lots of things that stink!!! Between the oil wells smelling like rotten eggs, the dead skunks every 10 miles, and the millions of dairy farms, my nose wanted to fall off... LOL..

Man especially in this town called Muleshoe, it was the worst... Now every time Jeff farts we damn "damn Jeff why did you have to muleshoe us!!!"... LOL...

Most of the drive was flat and boring with now many sights except oil wells everywhere, Some huge fans, you know those wind electricity generating fans... We saw a few deer on the side of the road too... And lots of cattle, damn that cow shit!!!! It's a good thing we had the IPOD with an ass load of music bc that 12 hour drive to Austin was so damn long, and the smells just made it worse...

One thing I did start to notice is that the cop cars in other cities look fucking weird.... Maybe it's bc I was pulled over by a cop in a 4X4 Dodge truck, and I was just pissed off at all law enforcement at that point... Or maybe it was BC I was speeding... LOL....

Anyways it was good times, hanging with Phil the mountain man... LOL

CT

Was I going that fast?

2006-03-28T22:24:00.000-07:00

Phil and I ended up getting a late start on our way to Houston, BC the guy who was going to watch Jeff couldn't get him as early as we wanted... So I decided to make up some time on the road...

Well that turned out to be a mistake!!!! Just outside of a small town called Fort Sumner, I got nailed for speeding... Man I tried I tried everything to get out of this ticket... But he gave me the excuse that he already wrote it out... LOL... Fucking cop!!!! What was also bullshit was that his cop truck looked incognito, how the hell was I supposed to know that cops drove trucks, with hidden lights... I even had a radar detector, but what sucked about that is he got me coming up on a hill, so the detector didn't pick it up until he was right on me.. So I ended up telling this cop that I'd take it to court, BC I don't want my insurance to get jack up high...

Now I have to go to court next Wednesday!!!! What sucks about this is Fort Sumner is around 3 1/2 hours away from Alb... And they scheduled my appearance for 10 am, so now I have to get up at the but crack of dawn just so I can get there on time... FUN!!! I just hope the Judge lets me off.. One good thing I have going for me is the fact that the officer wrote out the ticket wrong, he put the posted speed was 55 and it was actually 65... LOL, so hopefully this will be to my advantage...

My dilemma is once I'm there in front of the judge, what should I say in my defense? I was
thinking about saying that I had the runs, and had to get to the bathroom fast... What do you think I should say? Does anyone have any ideas???

I think part of the reason the fucking cop didn't let me off with a warning was BC he was intimidated from Phil's mountain manliness... I totally understand, BC in Phil's winter mountain man action he is very intimidating... I think the cop was scared... LOL...

Ok everyone help me brainstorm on an excuse to get out of this damn ticket... And yes I'm going to dress like a nerd for court, I think that will help... LOL...

Cheers,
CT

I'm Back!!!!!

2006-03-26T20:54:00.000-07:00

Well I gave up on my desktop, and went smaller... I got a Sony Vaio... Well I guess you can see that... LOL... So I am officially back!!! But I want to especially thank Dan, Jen, and Rach for the push... LOL...

The best part about my new CPU is now I can blog in my living room, I'm 100% wireless now!!!! Yes Now there will be more ACTION!!!!

Good Times!!!!
CT

Computer problems...

2006-03-13T23:39:00.000-07:00

I won't be able to post for a few days, I have to do a clean reinstall... Damn computer!!!! Good ole Mr gates strikes again... LOL... Oh yeah I got a new CPU desk for cheap too, I'll post pics of it when my CPU is up and running again...

Wish me luck...

Ps. Everyone kick ass!!!

Cheers,
CT

SHNACKY of the WEEK!!!

2006-03-09T22:00:00.000-07:00

Yeah I know it's been a while, and I'm sorry about that.... I've just been so insanely busy... Well anyway, I may be a little late for another Olympic Shnacky but I have to do it because this girl is wicked hot!!!! She is the figure skater silver medalist Sasha Cohen.... She's so hot the flying tomato wanted her... LOL... Too bad she nicely said no thanks to his offer during her interview.... Oh well carrot top move on to the next groupie....

There's something about these second place girls that just drive me wild... LOL... I wonder if she like bloggers? hmmmm.. LOL

Here are some of sexy Sasha's likes...

Favorite TV show: "Sex and the City"
Favorite actor: Paul Walker
Favorite actress: Julia Roberts
Favorite movies: Clueless, Bend it like Beckham
Favorite food: Lobster
Favorite dessert: Ice cream and meringues
Favorite chocolate: White Lindt truffles
Favorite singer: Justin Timberlake
Favorite song: "Ain't No Mountain High Enough"
Favorite book: Harry Potter series
Favorite designers: Louis Vuitton, Juicy Couture, Tiffany
Favorite city to visit: Paris
Favorite island: Tahiti
Favorite flower: White rose
Favorite color: Opal
Favorite number: 1

Cheers,
CT

I can't feel my ass...

2006-03-09T00:59:00.000-07:00

Copper Mountain was amazing too!!! What I really liked was the fact that they had lots of snowboard parks... Jumps, rails, boxes, and half pipes... Plus the snow was a little better, still icy but better non the less... But man was this place packed, I don't think I've ever seen this many people at a ski resort in my life... Maybe it was because it was a Saturday on a holiday weekend? Nah that's retarded... LOL...

well being that this is my second day of the entire season, and I modified my snowboard the way I wanted it, I figure hey now it's time to get a little crazy and try some tricks.... LOL... Well I had to show my 19 year old cousin that his 31 year old cousin can keep up with all the high tech tricks right... Plus he was making the shit look so damn easy.... I mean look at this picture of him sliding on this rail, looks easy right?

Well I end up trying it and this baby bear came out of the trees and pushed me off the rail on my ass, then took my granola bar and ran off!!! That damn bear!!! LOL...

After falling directly on my ass on the freezing cold metal rail, I just laid motionless in the snow moaning for about 20 min, While my damn cousin took off... At least rude dog was still there to check up on me... I don't think my ass has ever hurt so much in my entire life!!! This fall just opened up a huge door for many more falls the entire day... My Superman confidence was gone... The only cure I could think of was a few cold brews to numb the pain... Somewhere between the cold brews and being in pain, my cousin got pissed off and left...

Well this gave us the great idea to stay for some more beer and check out a little bit of the night life in copper... It actually felt kinda nice being teen free... LOL... There were bon fire set up all over, and the night life started up... A few brews later we made our way back to our hotel...

We went to a couple of bars in leadville, but they are really nothing to mention, just a few farmer girls with missing teeth... And lots of weird stares from the locals... One local thought he knew me, but he was hammered... So I went with it and told him I owned the bowling alley... Then he realized he didn't know me... LMFAO...

The next morning we got up and decided to bail on going to Breck and come back home... I don't think my ass could handle another day... LOL... Later that night my cuz called and apologized for being difficult, I thought that was cool of him to admit he was in the wrong... So everything is ALL GOOD now!!!!

P.S. The drive home really sucked, could some please teach my roommate how to drive a standard? LOL...

Good Times!!!

A Creepy ass hotel...

2006-03-08T22:55:00.001-07:00

We arrive in Leadville to the only Hotel that had an opening, called the Delaware hotel... Before we had left I had called this hotel and they said that they only had one night available, but after a little sweet talking from the Craig Mack, they just happened to have 2 days available... LOL...

After we check in I realize that this is no ordinary hotel... It's actually an historic hotel from the 1800's... And believe me, the room and everything about this hotel was still in the 1800's, I guess we were lucky there was running water... LOL...

But what really freaked me out was the damn hallways...
Long dark and narrow with antique furniture all along the sides... The furniture was for sale of course... But at night time, it was just really creepy... I think the hotel had to be haunted by some old goldminer who lost a gun fight on the third floor defending his favorite hooker... LOL...
Maybe that's why they put the worlds smallest shower in my room... OH and the damn shower head had a couple flanker streams that just shot off in a couple places like my forehead and eye... And you couldn't really dodge the flanker stream bc the shower was just to damn small, I mean if you dropped the soap you would have to get out of the shower to get it... LOL...

For some reason I felt like I was being watched the entire time I was there... Yeah creepy!!! Oh by the way I stole that word from Rach... LOL... The next Day we woke up bright and early and headed for Copper Mountain!!!

Texas here I come!!!

2006-03-02T09:28:00.000-07:00

I'll be back sometime monday, and hopefully with some crazy ass story to tell... LOL.. Hey and maybe I'll do some audio stuff on the road?

Have a good weekend everyone out there!!!

Cheers,
Craig

Vail is Insane!!!

2006-02-28T17:49:00.000-07:00

After lunch we get our half day lift tickets... What's even cooler is that since scotty Pimpin had a season pass, that enabled us for even more of a discount!!! Every little bit counts right?

So we get out on the mountain, and it's just amazing!!! It's enormous!!! It's Huge!!! Well you get the picture... LOL.. It's crazy to think all we have is a half day here... Besides being a little on the icy side it was a great day to shred it up....

Not only was this the first time boarding this season, but it was also the first time on my new board, with my new switch bindings.... At first it kinda sucked bc I had put the bindings to close together, which jacked up my stance... After some fine tuning it was all good... But the fine tuning which had slowed me down a bit really pissed off my Gothic cousin Scotty pimpin... LOL..

OK granted it was his 30th time boarding this season and he's like semi pro, he didn't stop to think HMMMM well it is their first time out this year, and he's testing a new board, maybe I could cut them some slack... Nope not a chance, Scotty turned into whinny Mc whinerson... He reminded me of a 5 year old throwing a tantrum in walmart when his mom wouldn't buy him the new G.I Joe that just came out...

I started to think to myself, was I that whinny when I was 19? Not a chance, I usually always just roll with the punches... I even told him that he could have just gone ahead
and done his own thing if we were slowing his action, but he declined... It did end up getting better at the end of the day....

Holy shit was I sore after this half day... Yeah I could really tell just how out of shape I really was... LOL... Breathing like I've been a smoker for 50 years, and aches all over my body in places I didn't know could ache... LOL... Get you mind out of the gutter!!!... LOL...

After our day was over we drove to our hotel... Oh wait I didn't tell you about this yet... I guess I need to backpedal a bit... Before we had left for our trip I had asked my cousin to get us a room like 3 weeks prior to us driving up... Well he ends up calling me THE NIGHT BEFORE telling me he couldn't get a room... So I had to do some crazy ass internet search... Luckily I found a room, but unluckily it was an hour away in a town called Leadville... LOL...

Cheers, Craig

New Template

2006-02-26T18:24:00.000-07:00

I thought I'd check out something new.... Sorry about being so absent lately I've just been crazy busy, and with no internet at work, it makes it harder to read all of my fav sites, but I will prevail!!! LOL... If I haven't been by I will soon I promise, and I'll finish the vail story soon too... Shit I just remembered that Phil and I are leaving thursday for Steevos wedding in houston, plus we will get to hang with Goose!!! Goose thanks again for letting us stay with you.. you rock!!! And we will see you thursday night....

Sheet Rock...

2006-02-21T17:50:00.000-07:00

After getting through Denver and getting on the freeway towards Vail, Look through me dirty window at traffic that is coming to a complete stop... Traffic like this on a Friday afternoon is ridiculous... I was thinking there had to be some kind of accident or there had to be a bunch of crack heads going to the same place...

About 40 min later we finally come up to a semi that had jackknifed, and sheet rock that it had been hauling, had flown everywhere on both sides of the freeway...I happened to be on the opposite side of the wreck, but managed to take a pic of the mess through my foggy window... You can see the huge pile of sheet rock debris on the other side of the median...

This little infraction cost us about another hour and a half time wise... This accompanied by a couple more morning rush and slow traffic due to ice earlier made us arrive in Vail around 11 am... Parking at Vail is something else!!! Their only free parking was at the local super market and wendy's about a mile away, all of the rest of the parking was crazy ass donate 3 gallons of plasma expensive... So we Dropped off Scotty's car at the wendy's and split the difference on the parking for my car..

Since it was 11 am we decided to each lunch first and wait to get the half day lift tickets because it was only an hour away, and $20 cheaper...

3 hours of sleep!!!

2006-02-20T12:26:00.000-07:00

After Rude dog got off work we headed up I-25 to Fort Collins... The drive was pretty much boring except seeing a huge Ice cream cone in front of a dairy queen in Las Vegas... No not Las Vegas Nevada!!!! The little po dunk town Las Vegas New Mexico, Sorry no strippers, showgirls, or loose slots here... Just a huge Ice cream cone in front of the dairy queen... LOL..

7 1/2 hours later we get to Fort Collins... The temperature had dropped from a spring time 60 degrees to a ball freezing -10 degrees!!! After getting there and getting the five cent tour of Scotty pimpin's pad, we finally go to sleep around 2 ish... Since Vail was around 3 hours away and the lifts opened up at 9 we decided to wake up at 5 am.. You guessed it 3 hours of sleep people!!! Now that is fucking crazy especially after a long ass drive... But hey it's Vail, and you only live once right?

So we get out of the door at 6 am and start following pimpin to Vail!!!!

SHNACKY of the WEEK!!!

2006-02-15T00:50:00.000-07:00

This is an Olympic Shnacky edition !!!! Her name is Gretchen Bleiler, not only is she one of the first women ever to do a 900 (that's 2 1/2 rotations), but she is the silver medalist for the womens snowboard half pipe... I personally think she should have taken the gold, bc her run was more smooth than Teter's... LOL... Since I'm not a judge I guess all I can do is say damn look how unbelievably hot this woman is, yes I said woman at 24 this hard body shows up all the teenie boppers... LOL...

Here are some Q&A of the things she likes!!!

Can't live without: Napster MP3 player and K2 Mix Snowboard!
Best dish you can cook: I can not cook
If you could be great at any other sport what would it be? Surfing, because I love warm weather and the beach.
What do you want to be when you grow up? A professional snowboarder... does that mean I am grown up?
Hardest thing about your sport? The cold weather
Anyone in the world you'd eat breakfast with: My grandfather, my dogs Toby and Cody, and my friend Jeff, just to catch up and tell stories. And we would eat chocolate pancakes.
Three words that describe you: Confident, meticulous, and a lover who also fights.
Super power you'd most want: The ability to change nervous energy into pure confidence, because then I would always do everything to my full potential.
Best Halloween costume: A ghost
Broken bones: My middle finger, in gym class.
Role model: My mom
First concert: The Samples, a bad experience.
Last poster pinned on your wall: Brad Pitt from Legends of the Fall when I was in 7th grade.
Dream car: Volkswagen Toureg, fully decked out with all the features, GPS, heated seats, etc.
First job: I was a "Powder Panda" instructor.
Favorite palce to be when not competing: Home in Aspen
Favorite drink: Water
Favorite food: Snickers
Favorite drive thru: Arby's
Favorite DVD: The Notebook
Favorite magazine: In Touch
Favorite team: The Collection
Favorite celebrity: Jennifer Aniston
Favorite music: Wu Tang Clan, Tribe Called Quest, Nelly Furtado, Britney Spears
Favorite piece of clothing: Hat
Favorite movie of all time: Blue Crush
Favorite coast: West
Boxers or briefs? Boxer briefs

Hat tip: Big AL

Cheers,
Craig

54 minutes with Michelle Kwan....

2006-02-13T22:43:00.000-07:00

Michelle Kwan: you definitely haven't updated your blog in almost a week... that itself is very, very weak

Me: I updated 2 days ago

Michelle Kwan: that's almost a week to me hahaha

Me: thanks, that's an awesome complement... LOL

Michelle Kwan: of course it is lol when i don't wanna Ice skate or be an Olympian, i check myspace, facebook, your blog, and tuckermax lol so daily, i check probably between 5-10 times a day. so to a normal person, that'd be about a week's worth of online in one day lol so when a day goes by, i expect a new blog, cuz it's like a week to me lol

Me: why are you up so late? downloading porn?

Michelle Kwan: haha lol nah, just got home from some Olympic parties
Michelle Kwan: now what're yoooou doing up so late lol

Me: watching Olympics

Michelle Kwan: sounds like a better reason than mine haha

Me: so tell me your Olympic party story

Michelle Kwan: lol ummm i chugged a beer, went to Figure Skating at 10, came home, changed, went to some heaven and hell party where me and roommates were obviously too cool for because we didn't dress up lol took a whole bunch of jello shots, drank some more beer, talked with some crazy ass british guy...

Michelle Kwan: talked shit about all the stupid girls there (in particular one who i guess got pushed down the stairs by her ex lol), ummm danced, was violated by some fucking homosexual, danced some more, watched some gay dude practically have sex with some big black girl, danced some more, drank some more, came home

Me: that's kick ass, LOL I wish I was partying in Torino too...
Me: did you get some?

Michelle Kwan: besides being violated by the fag, nope lol
Michelle Kwan: what kinda stupid homo grabs two girls' crotches at once? lol

Me: maybe he wasn't gay

Michelle Kwan: oh, he was!! what kinda guy plucks his eyebrows, wears eyeliner, probably takes more time to get ready than i do, and dances up on other guys like he was humping them?

Me: LOL, holy shit, yeah he's gay!!!
Me: LMFAO, that's priceless

Michelle Kwan: shut your face lol

Me: did you do a keg stand?

Michelle Kwan: haha no lol especially not after reading some story by Tanya Harding, where she punched a girl in the vagina while she was doing a keg stand lol

Me: so did anyone yack?

Michelle Kwan: of course lol not me, but of course

Me: never you, bc you are the party queen

Michelle Kwan: haha oh god no, lol since 2006 started, i think i've drunken twice without puking lol lately i've just been so phlegming and yeah, i just haven't been able to handle it lol, but boy do i feel good after puking... and i generally wake up at like 5 or 6 am and puke... never like right after i drink or anything lol after i've passed out of course lol

Me: maybe your bulimic?

Michelle Kwan: if i were bulimic, i'm sure i would be puking at a higher rate than i am... probably more often than just when i drink lol

Me: yeah maybe you're right, it's good you're not

Michelle Kwan: lol and i'm sure if i were bulimic, i'd be skinny lol haha

Me: but you are skinny
Me: all Olympians think they're fat, when they're not

Michelle Kwan: haha we sit here and snack all day lol haha

Me: Really?

Michelle Kwan: lol we are definitely not the normal Olympic girls lol haha
Michelle Kwan: more girls ho themselves around and think they're hot shit and better than every other Olympic girl lol me and my roommates talk shit about them and know we're better than everyone else hahaha

Me: so you have a god complex?

Michelle Kwan: haha i'm just kidding lol we just know we're not morons like those stupid hos lol
Michelle Kwan: and if guys want us, it's obviously not cuz we're shoving our tits in their face or wearing skirts that cover the top of my ass crack

Me: Do you streak for action?

Michelle Kwan: lol i won't lie, that'd be a no

Me: I bet you Olympic Skater girls get hit on all the time though

Michelle Kwan: i'm gonna say it's either cuz i have big tits, i'm asian, or a combination of the two lol

Me: do guys ever say hey nice tits?

Michelle Kwan: lol actually one time, i went into a kitchen to grab some beer and some guy talking to people and as i walked by, he was like, nice tits lol, it makes me laugh lol i guess most girls would get offended, but i think it's funny lol

Me: that's bc you're an Olympic skater pimp

Michelle Kwan: lol and it's funny when guys just stare haha like tonight, this british kid was talking to us, and he just stared, even as he talked lol

Me: did you touch them or cover them as he stared?

Michelle Kwan: haha i just laughed and ignored him lol

Me:are you pissed about not competing?

Michelle Kwan: Nah I have tons of metals lol

Me: how's the groin?

Michelle Kwan: It will be fine after Pedro my massage therapist has a go at it lol

Michelle Kwan: but i think imma pass out now lol I have an early flight back to the states, so you have a good night there lol

Me: you too

Cheers,
Craig

Vail here I come!!! & Shaun White takes the gold!!!

2006-02-12T23:01:00.000-07:00

Not only do I get to snowboard in 3 different kick ass locations this weekend (Vail, Copper Mountain, and Breckenridge).... But I will get to try and do some of the flying tomatoes moves...

From where I live it's about 7 or so hours to my cousin Scotty pimpins house... Then like another 2 to where we will set up base camp for our 3 mountain boarding weekend...

When we leave Thursday night, I'm sure I'll have some visions of me trying some of Shaun White's key 1080 moves, coupled with some kick ass tail or nose grabs.... Being that I can only do a 180 on a good day may give me some injuries to show off to you...

Well that's why Shaun White took home the gold today!!! He didn't do it for the metal, he did it for the babes!!! He even told the guy that was interviewing him that maybe now that he has a gold metal the ice skating hottie Sasha Cohen might give him some action!!!

Not only did he take the gold after almost not qualifying bc he screwed the pooch on his first run, but he got a kick ass nickname out of it too... That's right "The flying tomato"!!! Shaun is definitely setting his action high by going for an older woman, but hell as long as she doesn't associate him with carrot top I think he will get what he wants...

He does have great taste bc damn that ice skater Sasha is smokin!!! I think he might have seen her moves on the ice, and thought to himself damn this girl is not only hot but very flexible... Need I say more? I think she just might be Shnacky material... LOL...

So hopefully I will get some kick ass photo opps of me doing some mediocre stunts, while my cousin Scotty pimpin does the Shaun White , backside 1080 action double pumper stunts... Hey and who knows maybe I'll have some video too? And wish me luck with the snow bunnies!!! LOL...

Cheers,
Craig

Guitar Hero!!!

2006-02-09T21:42:00.001-07:00

Grown men playing with toy guitars can be a funny thing to watch...

Big Al asked me a while back to go with him to best buy and check out this game he was obsessed with on PS2...

When we got to the store he snatched up this little plastic guitar from the nearest 10 year old, that's connected to a PS2... Then he starts going to town playing this game called guitar hero...

He was playing this toy guitar like he was Keith Richards from the rolling stones, while elementary kids stared at him... Shortly after a huge group of elementary kids surround him with lots of enthusiasm, as he starts to play... His midget fans were feeding his already monster size ego... After he finished his first song this little kid named Billy came up to him and said "Hey mister, I hope that someday when I grow up I could play the guitar as good as you"...

Are you kidding me? Does this kid even realize that it's a fake guitar? Well Big Al, told me afterwards that he had spent around 8 or 9 hours playing this game in best buy last weekend, and in that amount of time straight rocking out he became pro... LMFAO!!!

Not to long after our best buy adventure, Big Al calls me up and said he has bought the game, guitar and system... And if I thought he was pro before, now he is a million times better because he has played this game for like a week straight...

He ends up inviting us over one night so we could witness the superstar in ACTION!!!! Well after watching him make it look so easy I decided to give it a try... To be honest I wouldn't have a midget fan club unless they were deaf, because I sucked ass... LOL... Needless to say Big Al won every guitar battle against all of his friends.... I bet he is still hearing the voices of his midget fans in the back of his head say "GO GUITAR HERO GO"....

Cheers,
Craig

I got busted!!!!

2006-02-08T21:47:00.000-07:00

Today at work I was called into the bosses office.. And he said that big brother has been watching me for some time now, and I was breaking the law...

Just when I thought I was home alone I find out the people upstairs... Literally upstairs have been watching my every move... I kinda felt violated... Like being molested by MJ or something...

So now I have been banned from the internet and all of it's wonders while at work... This means, No IM chats anymore.... No reading my favorite blogs anymore.... No checking email anymore.... No looking up song lyrics anymore... No more looking up porn sites (LOL JK).... I would have definitely been canned for that...
So basically now I will have no entertainment what so ever... But at least I still have my job WHEW!!!

This sucks ass!!!!
Craig

Big Al's steamy DUMP!!!

2006-02-08T02:15:00.000-07:00

HeMale or SheMale Quiz.

http://hemaleorshemale.com/

The alarm clock from hell:

http://www.hayatbenchenaa.com/sfera.html

Boil an egg with two cell phones:

http://www.wymsey.co.uk/wymchron/cooking.htm

All of the Superbowl commercials

http://video.google.com/superbowl.html

Latest World News:

http://www.jeroenwijering.com/whatsup/

Grow your fortune

http://creditreview.blogspot.com/2006/02/7-simple-steps-to-grow-your-fortune.html

How products are made:

http://www.madehow.com/

THAT'S A BIG BUNNY!

http://www.thesun.co.uk/article/0,,2-2006050669,00.html

Sexy Name Decoder:

http://sexy.namedecoder.com/

Olympic video>>>>
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=1239222140596984872

Thanks: Big AL

Cheers,
Craig

Go to Jail, Don't pass Go & Don't collect $200!!!!

2006-02-06T23:57:00.000-07:00

Jeff ran away and now he's in jail!!!!

Yeah, right. He got away?

yep...

How?

through the truck window...

No shit?

yep, no shit!!!

He jumped out Phil's truck?
While he was driving?

No while he was parked...

No shit? Wow. He must really like Phil.

Then was arrested for drug trafficing & prostitution....

Huh? Phil was?

no jeff was!!!

Holy shit dude!
Is he in jail?

jeff is in dog jail...

Jeff had drugs on him?

yeah he was dealing cat nip....

Interesting.
I didn't know that was a crime.

me either....

Fluffy did that for awhile too.
But he cleaned up.

Yeah it sucks how dogs get into drugs these days...

Jeff has Ho's?

Yeah Jeff has lots of bitches!!!!

so phil has to bail him out tomorrow morning....
bc the pound is closed today...

Don't worry Jeff will be ok!!!
More details tomorrow
Craig...

The Key Master

2006-02-05T13:06:00.000-07:00

When I came home from work on Friday something was different... Nothing had been misplaced, but there was something new... As I walk into the living room I see a huge dog with muscles popping out of every crevice of its Arnold like body... When this dog looked at me his eyes started to glow... I stood still like a deer in the headlights.. For a moment I thought I was trapped in the old ghostbusters movie, and I was going to have to start running for my life... Running from the key master dog, that can run through walls, cars, tanks, airplanes, and other tough things...

Still standing there frozen solid with this rock solid Key master dog staring me down.... I start to panic so I move my pinky finger... Nothing happened... Maybe he was looking the other way, so I tried it again... Still nothing happened... So I get some courage and try a whole arm this time.... OOPS the dogs head moved....

I was thinking, where the hell can I get one of those Ghostbuster Photon packs? I could really use one at this moment... Then the keymaster winked at me...

Hmmm does this dog want to eat me or fuck me? Maybe I wasn't a wink... Wait he did it again... My mind starts to tell me that maybe this dog needs me to go get shark dog over for some lovin, better her than my leg... A few minutes later Phil walks into the room and says hey it looks like you've met Jeff...

I slowly said did you happen to feed him yet? Phil said of course I did... I said what about desert? Phil said yep... Phil said he won't eat you or hump you, It's ok just calm down...

A huge relief came over me, and I started to move around.. Phil brought me over to Jeff and let him check me out, you know sniff me to make sure I'm not the bad guy...
Just look at him, doesn't he look like he could take down a buffalo or an elephant... I couldn't imagine what the pounds per square inch his jaws could produce... So basically I'm saying if you decide to rob my house, GOOD FUCKING LUCK!!!!

Here Jeff, here jeff..... AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!! Damn I can't type anymore Jeff bit off my left hand!!!
LOL JK

Cheers,
Craig, Phil & Jeff

I don't do MEME's

2006-02-03T01:15:00.000-07:00

I'm only doing this one BC Dave is a Kick ass blogger, and he likes all of my Shnacky posts!!!!

4 Jobs You Have Had In Your Life

Paper boy
Grocery store Checker
Advertiser
Cytologist

4 Movies You Would Watch Over and Over

Dazed & Confused
Braveheart
Scarface
Wedding Crashers

4 Places You Have Lived

Albuquerque, New Mexico
San Antonio, Texas
Austin, Texas
Irvine, California

4 TV Shows You Love to Watch

Scrubs
Boston Legal
The Office
Greys Anatomy

4 Places You Have Been On Vacation

South Padre Island, Texas
New York, New York
Washington DC, Virginia
Las Angelas, California

4 Websites You Visit Daily

Goose
Smelly
Steph
Jane

4 Favorite Foods

Daytona wings at hooters
Lasagna
Anything MOM cooks
Disaster burrito

4 Places You Would Rather Be Right Now

In Elisha Cuthbert's bed
In Jennifer Love Hewitt's bed
In Jessica Alba's bed
In Kate Beckinsale's bed

4 People to Tag

Not anyone bipolar
Not the little ho down the road
Not the girl I think is crazy
Not YOU!!!

well if you really want to go for it... LOL

Cheers,
Craig

Talk Shit Thursday!!!!

2006-02-02T10:04:00.000-07:00

Ok peeps here are the rules...
1. Talk shit in the comments, about anyone or anything you want...
2. Or just leave a random comment!!! (meaning say whatever)
3. have fun with it!!!!
4.Comment as many times as you want...
5. Let it all out...

Cheers,
CT

I hate it when Monkeys can do math better than me.... Damn monkeys!!!!

Tags: Talking Shit, Random Comments.

Are you down with the Sickness?

2006-01-31T20:14:00.000-07:00

Sometimes when you wait for something it makes it that much more kick ass!!! I had won tickets to the Disturbed concert in August last year... For some reason they had to cancel the show, but they postponed it to Jan 30th, which was last night for those of you who don't own a calendar...

Sometimes I wish Dog had a cell phone... Last night before the concert Dog and I were supposed to meet up at a certain time... I ended up being a few minutes late, and the Dog bolted, I tried calling his imaginary cell, LOL... He didn't answer though... After I found RD, we made our way to the concert...

following 8 300+ lb Navajo's into the door we get patted down for guns, knives, shanks, letter openers, needles, coke, heroin, and weed... At these shows you never have to bring weed, because the fucker next you always has some and is willing to share...

After getting into the building I remembered that the girl from work who flirts with me like I'm brad Pitt, said she was going to the show and was no doubtly looking for me... So as we make our way to the crowd I keep an eye out for her, just in case I have to Hide... Not like hide and go seek, but hide like hiding from the Viet Kong in NAM!!!!

Looking into the crowd I'm disappointed by the lack of hotties at the place... I would love to shack up with a sexy rocker chick, maybe with a brow ring, a tongue ring, and maybe some nipple rings... OOOH YEAH!!! Bring 'em on... Yeah right no such luck..

The first two bands get fired up, and suck ass..... I mean they sucked so much ass that I'm not going to even mention their names on my site because they don't deserve recognition... In between when the roadies were setting up for the next band, this freaky dude called the LIZARD MAN comes on stage and does some crazy shit to entertain fuckers while they wait... He did stuff like hammer a nail into his skull through his nose, put a condom in his mouth and blow it up out of his nose, and drive a power drill in his skull... Plus he was tattooed green all over, and has his tongue cut in half so it looks like he has a forked tongue... I bet that freak gets paid a shit load to be a jackass...

Finally Disturbed came on stage!!! They rocked that place like no other!!! I mean it was crazy they had these 300lb Indians jumping up and down like little kids... The only thing that sucked was my height, bc at 5'6 it can get tough seeing through all of the hands throwing up the rock on horns... This band was amazing playing hit song after hit, with only stopping the show once to tell people to back up off the guard rail bc they were crushing someone... Actually that part was kinda lame... BC you should never stop a rock show mid strum, it kinda kills the mood... Besides that they couldn't have played better!!!!

After the show I couldn't hear shit, my ears are still fucking ringing... I definitely need to invest in some ear plugs for next time... Hell I'm getting old, I don't want to have hearing aids anytime soon...

ROCK ROCK!!!!
Craig