"When I choose a restaurant, I like to know who else eats there!"

Thursday, June 09, 2005

The FRIEND ZONE!!!!

**this post contains the word FUCK many times if you are offended by this word read at your own risk****


This topic has came up more than just a couple times in the past few weeks.... So I'm going to give everyone some of my personal insight on the friend zone.... To start off with the basics... Boy meets Girl OR Girl meets Boy... When this happens there is or isn't an instant physical attraction...

Couple #1
If there is a physical attraction there is usually a hook up or a 1 night fuck... If these two hang out more and there is a personality attraction a relationship can develop....

Couple #2
If there is a Physical attraction on one side and not the other... The one attracted usually tries to make their personality shine to overcome physical attributes... Many times this can work perfect if played right... If not played right He or She will keep you in the friend zone because, they like you but they won't fuck you...

Couple#3
Neither are physically attracted to eachother, but both like eachothers personalities... These two usually become true friends with no hidden agendas... Neither of them want to fuck the other but enjoy the friendship... This is the category my close girl friends and I are in...

So lately I have heard about a few people in couple #2's position (Friend Zone)... The first pair I will talk about is Kit and Ben (made up names).... Kit is a fun loving girl who has her sights on another man and can do nothing but obsessively talk about him with Ben... Ben listens, but Ben doesn't want to hear that shit Ben wants to fuck!!! Ben met Kit through a mutual friend Erin... Kit, Ben, and Ben's friends usually all go out on the weekends and live it up... Ben, during all of these good times has developed an I want to fuck Kit crush... But not being up front with Kit about his wanting to fuck has stuck him in the friend zone... Because lets face it Kit doesn't want to fuck Ben!!! He has been asking Kit to dinner and buying her gifts, and instead of saying no(because Kit likes his personality and wants his friendship) she says yes which unknowingly gives Ben a false hope of on day being able to fuck Kit a good one!!! The outcome here is terrible... When Ben finally realizes he will never be able to fuck Kit he will stop buying Kit presents while on vacation, and taking her to dinner... And most importantly he will stop listening to her talk about other guys... He will be crushed for a while but will hopefully learn his lesson... **Kit shouldn't accept gifts or go out on dinner dates, and keep him at a distance, this might make it easier** But that's just my opinion...

The next pair is even crazier... There is this girl Bambi who has a Boyfriend but also has a friend Bill (made up names)... To my understanding Bill wants to fuck Bambi bad.... Bill is also thinking he is on deck and the next in line to fuck Bambi... Bill will drop whatever he is doing just to be at the beck and call of Bambi's whims... I am told that Bill also gives Bambi foot massages and hand massages on demand.... I almost feel sorry for this guy.... He wants to fuck her so bad he has resorted to slave labor... LOL... It seems to me Bambi is happy with her Boyfriend which is good but at the same time wants to have her close friend Bill... Because she wants to keep Bill she gives him just enough for him to stick around... Again in my opinion... Bill needs to wake up and look at reality, if Bambi was going to fuck you she most likely would have by now... Slave Labor is wrong, and no one should subject themselves to this torture... That's almost worse than the massage lady torture... Don't get me wrong sometimes playing the friend role can work but the odds are bad and most of the time someone gets hurt, and the wait can be torture to the guy or girl... A friend of mine has made it work tons of times by playing the friend/shoulder to cry on routine... But I would say he is damn good at it... For me I have tried it a few times and it has worked about half the time...

So I prefer the more direct approach.... If I want to fuck a girl I let them know... If I say things like damn your hot/sexy... Or If I post you up as Shnacky of the week!!! Those are some good clues to let you know I want you and Shmitty to get to know eachother very well... If I don't that means you are most likely in my friend zone... Which is not a bad thing unless you want to fuck me....

Clues if your friend wants to fuck you...
1. Buys you gifts
2. Will drop what they are doing for you
3. Resorts to slave labor for you
4. Makes sure they are included in group plans of which you are a part.
5. Attends parties that they knows or thinks you will be attending also.
6. Just shows up

these are just a few....

P.S. Just because a girl sends me text messages every once in a while does not mean I want to fuck her or am some sort of lemming... It means I want to fuck her friends... LOL... So if you fit this description, next time at card night invite some hot SINGLE friends to pimp me out to....

Good Times...
CT

Posted by CT :: 11:14 PM :: 15 comments|

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