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From::Albuquerque, New Mexico, United States
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Phil's Advice: Got a problem? Let Phil help!
Sunday, February 05, 2006The Key Master
When I came home from work on Friday something was different... Nothing had been misplaced, but there was something new... As I walk into the living room I see a huge dog with muscles popping out of every crevice of its Arnold like body... When this dog looked at me his eyes started to glow... I stood still like a deer in the headlights.. For a moment I thought I was trapped in the old ghostbusters movie, and I was going to have to start running for my life... Running from the key master dog, that can run through walls, cars, tanks, airplanes, and other tough things...
Still standing there frozen solid with this rock solid Key master dog staring me down.... I start to panic so I move my pinky finger... Nothing happened... Maybe he was looking the other way, so I tried it again... Still nothing happened... So I get some courage and try a whole arm this time.... OOPS the dogs head moved....
I was thinking, where the hell can I get one of those Ghostbuster Photon packs? I could really use one at this moment... Then the keymaster winked at me...
Hmmm does this dog want to eat me or fuck me? Maybe I wasn't a wink... Wait he did it again... My mind starts to tell me that maybe this dog needs me to go get shark dog over for some lovin, better her than my leg... A few minutes later Phil walks into the room and says hey it looks like you've met Jeff...
I slowly said did you happen to feed him yet? Phil said of course I did... I said what about desert? Phil said yep... Phil said he won't eat you or hump you, It's ok just calm down...
A huge relief came over me, and I started to move around.. Phil brought me over to Jeff and let him check me out, you know sniff me to make sure I'm not the bad guy...
Just look at him, doesn't he look like he could take down a buffalo or an elephant... I couldn't imagine what the pounds per square inch his jaws could produce... So basically I'm saying if you decide to rob my house, GOOD FUCKING LUCK!!!!
Here Jeff, here jeff..... AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!! Damn I can't type anymore Jeff bit off my left hand!!!
Craig, Phil & Jeff